Go Home Bison, You're Drunk — Let's Not Panic

This bison is either drunk or forever scratching its back. You decide.

Today we visited the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. It was a delight. Whoever poses their skeletons and taxidermy gets an A+ and a gold star from me. It was a nice little museum, three stories, with an extensive taxidermy and skeletal collection. I fucking love taxidermy and skeletons, and whoever's posing them for this museum is a goddamn star.

But my real favorite, the guy who really stole the show for me, was this fancifully prancing dinosaur skeleton. Tell me you've seen a happier looking dinosaur skeleton. How is it even possible for a skeleton to look so flipping happy?

"So listen, Bob, we have this allosaurus skeleton, great shape, we want it to be the centerpiece right when you walk into our museum."

"Sure, sure. So, roaring, stamping, looking terrifying and all that? The usual?"

"No, man, no. Not at all. We want this one to be different you know? Sassy."

"Sassy?"

"You're goddamn right, Bob."

"Sassy."

"Like he's fucking delighted to be there, but maybe casting shade."

Furrows brow. Taps pencil against paper ponderously. Then nods, slowly. "I can do this."